Here’s what I’m thinking: If my husband can sit on the couch on a Sunday for literally 6- 7 hours straight watching TV without any slight sense of responsibility towards keeping the baby asleep or helping in the house then I can be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) without any digs from my husband about getting a job. I’m just saying, if everything else in our lives besides making money truly is my responsibility then I have enough on my plate. Don’t you think?
Let’s think about it this way, the average nanny in North Georgia makes an average of $12-$15 per hour. Since it’s my (our) house and my (our) baby I’ll cut that in half and stay on the low side, so $6 per hour which is less than minimum wage. I’ll base this on an average day.
6am- On duty, feeding, changing and entertaining Lilly. Dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, doggy care, kitty care, errands…….
10pm -Off duty. Lilly is FINALLY asleep.
12am -On duty. Lilly cries, binki fell out.
12:03am -Off duty.
1am -On duty, Lilly cries to nurse.
1:30am -Off duty. Lilly is asleep.
3am -On duty. Lilly cries, she is gassy.
3:15am -Off duty. Lilly is asleep.
5am -On duty. Lilly cries, she is gassy. I try the binki but that doesn’t work. Eventually nursing calms her.
5:30am -Off duty.
6am -On duty, time to get up!
Unless my math is wrong (and it usually is) that is about 17 hours and 18 minutes (never mind the “on-call” time since this schedule fluctuates). Let’s drop the 18 min and just multiply my wage of $6 an hour by 17 hours. That’s $102 per day x 7 days per week. That is $714 per week! So you see, there is no reason for me to get a job…I ALREADY HAVE ONE! In fact, since my husband has someone available to do all of this he can go ahead and give me the money. And don’t say, “But all of this is half yours anyway, half your kid, half your house, half your messes.” Remember, I cut my wage in half at the beginning for this exact reason.
So now I sit and wait for MY paycheck. Wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait….. Yep, you get the idea. There IS no paycheck for someone like me. Instead we get grief for NOT making money, NOT contributing. Really? I’m not contributing? Instead of a paycheck I’m told to stay home to save gas, or that I get to decide how much gas I can use when I get a JOB. So, while my husband chooses to drive our V8 gas guzzling Jeep instead of the parked 4 cylinder Cavalier I’m told that I am the one who needs to save gas. ?? Am I the only one confused about this? Is it because I didn’t “earn” the gas or the money to buy it? What DO I “earn” then?
If it’s not already obvious to you, Randy and I had these issues over the weekend. While we’ve talked about them and still love each other 🙂 I am left feeling as though his perception hasn’t changed and that we will continue to go round and round about it as long as I am at home with our kid(s), which BTW he prefers to me working only to make enough money for daycare.
What happened to the day of our great grandmothers and their mothers and grandmothers? There was a time when a woman’s “job” was to be at the house, cleaning and raising the kids. As far as I know they didn’t get flack for that. And the man worked for money to provide for his family. Did he complain about his wife not making money, too? In fact, most men thought it was a woman’s “place” to be at home. Now that women have fought so hard to be considered equal in the workplace does that mean we are not equal if we don’t work and choose to raise our families instead? There is a reason nanny’s make good money. It’s a hard job. Raising someone’s children is a big responsibility. I choose to do it myself like my mother, my dad’s mother and mothers before her. What’s wrong with that? And why can’t I be left alone to do it in peace with the respect that I deserve? If his well raised kid is my well raised kid and his dinner, clean house, well kept animals are all mine (my responsibility), too, then his money is my money. PERIOD.
I REFUSE to feel guilty about not having an income any longer.
Can I get a “Hell Yeah!”? 🙂